春水堂视频

If Shannon Axe hadn鈥檛 transferred to Boulder Valley, a school district known as one of the most accepting in the nation for transgender children, she thinks she would have died.

The 15-year-old Boulder High School freshman, an actress and a dancer, says this without a hint of teenage drama.

The school district has revamped its policies 鈥� from bathrooms to curriculum to its computer system 鈥� in the last few years, and, as a result, families with transgender children have quit jobs and sold homes to move there.

Shannon and her family were among the pioneers.

The Axes left Douglas County in 2009, hoping to find a more welcoming school community in the state鈥檚 most liberal county. The first time Karen Axe talked to the new school, she refused to say on the phone what 鈥渟pecial needs鈥� her daughter had 鈥� she wanted to look the principal in the eye when she said it. He admitted he hadn鈥檛 known a transgender child before, but promised they would 鈥渓earn together.鈥�

Shannon immediately was allowed to use the girls鈥� bathroom and female pronouns. In middle school, administrators set up a panel discussion so Shannon could tell classmates she was trans. 鈥淚鈥檓 transgender. I鈥檓 proud to be transgender. And I just want to be who I am,鈥� she said in front of the school.

In Douglas County in 2007, when Shannon was 7 and before the word 鈥渢ransgender鈥� was part of many people鈥檚 vocabularies, it took four months of negotiation with the school district before Shannon could return to school as a girl. District officials 鈥� concerned about switching from 鈥渉e鈥� to 鈥渟he鈥� 鈥� said teachers would use no pronouns at all to address her. Shannon had to use a special bathroom in the nurse鈥檚 office, or the boys鈥� bathroom.

Her gymnastics school dumped her because she was transgender, and then a mass of parents at another gym voted that, despite her stellar tumbling talents, she could not join the cheer team. One of those dads alerted a local news station, and soon Bill O鈥橰eilly and Laura Ingraham were talking about her on national television 鈥� the 鈥渓ittle boy鈥� turned little girl whose parents should be 鈥渆mbarrassed.鈥�

鈥淲e were pretty terrified,鈥� Karen recalled. 鈥淭hat reaction was visceral. We were kind of in hiding.鈥�

Shannon would beg not to go to school. 鈥淣ow,鈥� says the outgoing girl who bounces through high school in a pack of long-haired beauties and does back flips on stage in her pink-laced tap shoes, 鈥淚鈥檇 rather go to school than have a weekend.鈥�

Preferred name, gender

Among the most progressive school reforms in Boulder Valley is the ability for students to enter their preferred name and gender 鈥� not the one on a birth certificate 鈥� in the district鈥檚 computer system.

Birth certificate information, required by the federal government for annual student counts, is kept in confidence at the superintendent鈥檚 office, meaning the principal and teachers of a transgender child might never know.

Karen Axe contacted district leaders for months pushing for the 3-year-old policy, sharing the story of one trans elementary student whose birth name popped up on a screen every time she punched in her school number to buy lunch. 鈥淭his kid suffered every day,鈥� Karen said.

The district has requested that its computer software company allow it to add a third option: gender nonconforming.

In other school districts, including Cherry Creek, students cannot change their gender in the computer system. Instead, they must ask each teacher, each semester, to address them by their new name and pronouns. Cherry Creek students said it鈥檚 humiliating when a substitute teacher shows up and reads the roll call printed from the computer system. Denver Public Schools recently changed policy to model Boulder鈥檚. In Douglas County, students can have the change made with a notarized letter from their parents.

Culture shift for trans students in Boulder Valley also came with bathroom policy.

At Ryan Elementary in Lafayette, the principal three years ago switched to a 鈥渙ne-in, one-out鈥� bathroom plan, meaning all bathrooms are for any gender and everyone waits their turn. The decision came after confusion among young students about which bathroom a gender-nonconforming student should use.

The district plans to use a portion of bond money approved last year to renovate bathrooms at several schools, including some to the one-in, one-out model.

Among the gender-nonconforming children who have transferred to Ryan Elementary in recent years was a child who transitioned in a rural area and was tormented by other kids. At an initial meeting in Boulder Valley, the child鈥檚 mother brought Karen Axe along and came prepared to advocate for bathroom rights. When Ryan principal Tobey Bassoff explained the one-in, one-out policy, both adults began to cry. In relief.

鈥淚 didn鈥檛 even realize what I did with the bathrooms was that huge,鈥� Bassoff said.

The principal of Fairview High School in Boulder counts 13 out trans students in the last eight years, many of them transfers from other districts. One played junior varsity lacrosse, and the school fought and won a battle against another team that at first refused to let the student use the boys鈥� locker room during an away game.

Another student was on the prom court, and a third transitioned to female at prom and announced, 鈥淭his is who I really am.鈥�

鈥淚t鈥檚 no longer the exception or out of the ordinary,鈥� principal Don Stensrud said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 just how we work.鈥�

Stensrud clearly remembers the first trans student who came to his school eight years ago. Back then, the district computer system didn鈥檛 allow students to input a preferred name and gender, so Stensrud made sure every substitute was alerted to the boy鈥檚 name. Fairview turned a faculty bathroom into a gender-neutral one, and the student switched from alto to tenor in the choir.

The first trans student to enroll at Boulder Community School of Integrated Studies, a public elementary school, also arrived eight years ago. She enrolled midyear, sad with dropping grades. Principal Phil Katsampes remembers he was taken aback when, halfway through the first meeting with the girl鈥檚 mother, she told him her child was 鈥渁ssigned male at birth.鈥�

鈥淚t was a new topic,鈥� Katsampes said. 鈥淚t took me a minute to wrap my head around it.鈥�

He put up a gender-neutral sign on an adult bathroom without controversy or drama. Later in the school year, the girl asked to share her story as part of the school鈥檚 celebration of families. A year later, the child bunked with girls during Outdoor Education.

One Boulder Valley kindergarten teacher has become a well-known advocate for gender diversity after creating a听TED talk听on how to bust stereotypical gender roles. After a boy in her class was teased for wearing a pink shirt, she asked kindergartners to list 鈥渂oy things鈥� and 鈥済irl things鈥� as she wrote them on the board.

The 5- and 6-year-olds quickly realized their list wasn鈥檛 accurate or fair 鈥� it wasn鈥檛 true that only boys play sports, or that all girls love pink. The next day, teacher Batya Greenwald said, the boy who had teased his classmate for wearing pink was playing princess dress-up.

The influx of trans students also has led libraries in Boulder Valley schools to add books about the transgender experience, children鈥檚 stories titled 鈥淚 am Jazz鈥� and 鈥淛acob鈥檚 New Dress.鈥� Teachers and principals have taken workshops on gender diversity. And a librarian started one of the first middle-school gay-straight alliances in the nation.

The club, called 鈥淎llies in Diversity,鈥� began in 2010 with about 12 students who anonymously dropped questions in a glass bowl for Manhattan Middle School librarian Barb Miller to read aloud. The group now has more than 150 participants, and comments like 鈥渢hose shoes are so gay鈥� are heard in the hallway far less often.

鈥淲e are not talking about sex,鈥� Miller said. 鈥淚 had that boundary, but that鈥檚 not what kids wanted to talk about. They wanted to talk about their families, whether they were straight or gay, what gay meant, what are these feelings I鈥檓 having, am I normal, am I OK, am I wrong?鈥�

Searching for answers

As preschoolers, Shannon and her sister dressed up and put on a show whenever family friends came for dinner. At 4, Shannon鈥檚 favorite thing was ballet, but she shocked her parents and asked to quit just before her recital 鈥� when she was supposed to wear a boy鈥檚 costume, as Tarzan.

From age 3, Shannon was a gymnastics prodigy. She quickly moved to private lessons and her family dreamed of the Olympics. Talented as she was on the vault and high bar, the boys鈥� equipment, what she wanted was her own balance beam.

For years, the Axes knew their child wasn鈥檛 interested in traditional boy things, but their concern heightened when Shannon, at 6 years old, locked herself in her grandmother鈥檚 bedroom and tore it apart trying on perfume, lipstick and heels. Afterward, when her mother asked what she was thinking, the child said, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know. I couldn鈥檛 control myself.鈥�

Not sure what to do next, Karen googled: 鈥淲hat does a gay child look like when they are little?鈥�

Among the items that popped up was a story about听, a trans girl who is the same age as Shannon.

It was instant recognition. It felt like Karen was reading about her own child. 鈥淚f I hadn鈥檛 found that, I don鈥檛 think my child would be alive.鈥�

Karen cruised down the highway at 70 miles per hour to pick up Shannon from gymnastics, anxiety building as she realized her child鈥檚 answer to the questions she was about to ask could change their lives dramatically. On the way home, Karen prodded as gently as she could, in a monotone voice. 鈥淲hy do you like girl things?鈥�

鈥淢ommy, I am a girl!鈥� Shannon shouted from the back seat.

鈥淲hat do you think about your boy parts?鈥� Karen asked.

鈥淚 hate them. Can we cut them off?鈥�

Karen couldn鈥檛 see her surroundings; it was like the world was collapsing on her. Her shock evolved to desperate sadness over losing her son and the dream of the Olympics, and then to relief, to finally understand.

鈥淪he can鈥檛 be alone in this. She can鈥檛 feel like a freak,鈥� Karen would tell her husband, Herb, who 鈥渉ad to be dragged along鈥� at first but now is his daughter鈥檚 other biggest supporter. When Karen told Shannon she could dress however she wanted at home that summer, it was 鈥渓ike Disney World times 10.鈥�

鈥淪he was floating through the house, this indelible sense of joy,鈥� Karen recalled.

In the fall of second grade, Shannon left her neighborhood school for a special gymnastics school where the day was split between academics and gym time. She went as a boy, only allowed to wear dresses at home. She was drowning in unhappiness.

During a family vacation to Florida, where Shannon was free to wear dresses at Disney World and play at the beach with family friends who accepted her as a girl, 鈥渟he came alive,鈥� her mother said. 鈥淚t was so beautiful to see her happy.鈥� When they packed to leave, Shannon burst into tears. 鈥淐an鈥檛 we just live here?鈥� she asked.

It was after that fall trip that the Axes decided to let their child transition. But the gymnastics school refused to let Shannon switch to girls鈥� gymnastics. Discussions ended when the gymnastics organization sent the Axes an e-mail that said lawyers advised them no longer to speak to them.

The Axes decided to return to their neighborhood school, just a block from home, where everyone knew Shannon as a boy.

Discussions with the school district involved lawyers and lasted months. Shannon was supposed to start class on Valentine鈥檚 Day, but the day before, the principal called and said that would be 鈥渢oo disruptive鈥� and they should wait a day, devastating Shannon. If any child asked questions about Shannon鈥檚 transition, they were sent to the principal鈥檚 office. The school refused to let the Axes share their story. 鈥淪he was left on the playground to handle things alone,鈥� Karen said.

The Axes also tried to enroll Shannon in a cheer class at a Highlands Ranch gym. In a 鈥渕ob rule,鈥� parents voted not to allow Shannon to join, an announcement that caused an eruption of cheers that Karen could hear from another room.

When Shannon thinks back to those two years, she remembers them in painful snippets. New friends who dumped her when others whispered that she 鈥渦sed to be a boy.鈥� A memory of a man who confronted her outside the school and told her she was going to hell. People who didn鈥檛 know the Axes called them 鈥渄ope-smoking child abusers.鈥�

鈥淲e couldn鈥檛 raise a child in that space,鈥� she said. 鈥淪he would have ended up with mental illness.鈥�

Now, at 15, Shannon is popular and outgoing, enthusiastic to the point of hyper, a literal drama queen who loves to show off on stage and in her own YouTube show, 鈥�.鈥� She gracefully fends off questions at Boulder High about how she 鈥済ot real boobs鈥� or how she can wear the same form-fitting black leggings all the other girls wear. Her friends say she has taught them how to live authentically, no matter who you are.

鈥淏eing fake, there鈥檚 no point in it,鈥� said Alexandra Nowak, 18.

Adapting to changes

Across the country, schools are scrambling to react to gender-nonconforming students who socially transition at younger ages.

After an Illinois school district refused to let a transgender girl on a girls鈥� sports team change and shower with her teammates, federal education officials said this month that the district had violated anti-discrimination laws.

In Colorado in 2013, the family of a transgender girl in Fountain won a听听after the girl, then 6, was barred from using the girls鈥� bathroom. The same year, a complaint from a transgender boy in California who was isolated on an overnight field trip instead of bunking with other boys led to听听that schools 鈥渕ust treat transgender students consistent with their gender identity.鈥� The ruling means children 鈥� regardless of their genitalia 鈥� can play on teams and use facilities consistent with their gender identity.

Joel Baum, a former teacher and now senior director of programming for听, a California nonprofit, urges school districts not to 鈥渨ait until you have your first transgender student on your doorstep.鈥�

鈥淒iscuss gender in ways big or small,鈥� he said. 鈥淵ou can like the toys you like and wear what you want to wear, and that鈥檚 not hurting anyone.鈥�

While people hear most about听, it鈥檚 elementary school where the gender identity discussion should start, Baum said. He is co-author of 鈥�,鈥� advice on how to improve school for any student who doesn鈥檛 fit into stereotypical gender roles.

鈥淚t helps the tomboys. It helps the boys who maybe are gentler than the rest of their peers. It gives permission every student to simply be themselves without fear of being harassed or made fun of,鈥� Baum said.

Two researchers at the University of Colorado at Boulder are doing similar work, partnering with Boulder Valley schools and other community groups to train teachers. Sara Staley and Bethy Leonardi, who teach in CU鈥檚 education school, have trained nearly 2,000 teachers in the last couple of years.

鈥淲e are not telling anybody what to believe,鈥� Leonardi said. 鈥淲e鈥檙e not saying what is right or what is wrong. We鈥檙e saying LGBT kids exist in our communities and they have a right to feel welcome in our schools.鈥�

The pair, who created听, have infused training on gender diversity into the university curriculum as well as trained Boulder Valley staff. In workshops, teachers learn how to respond when a student comments 鈥渢hat鈥檚 so gay鈥� or teases someone for dressing outside gender norms. They also practice teaching about LGBT historical figures, and how to respond to parents who question it.

鈥淭his issue isn鈥檛 going away,鈥� Staley said. 鈥淵ou have to support educators to be able to say the word 鈥榞ay鈥� out loud without it getting caught in their throat.鈥�

Staley and Leonardi expect other school districts will turn to Boulder Valley as a 鈥渕odel for the nation.鈥�

I 鈥榡ust educate them鈥�

What started as Karen Axe鈥檚 effort to find Shannon a playmate she could relate to resulted in听, now a statewide advocacy group that has connected 300 families. Karen founded the group in 2007, and the 鈥渋nvisible community鈥� network is part of the reason so many trans students have moved to Boulder Valley.

It鈥檚 what her mother said just before Shannon walked into school for the first time as a girl: 鈥淲e are going to do this with love and compassion. We are going to assume people are going to say things because they don鈥檛 understand.鈥滷or Shannon, YouTube and Instagram are avenues to teach her generation greater understanding and acceptance of trans people. When someone comments that she is 鈥渦gly鈥� or 鈥渁 boy鈥� online, as a boy in her school did this year, she responds by asking them to question themselves. 鈥淚鈥檒l just educate them,鈥� she said. 鈥淚鈥檒l never get angry. I鈥檝e heard every comment you could imagine.鈥�

A few football players hissed a slur at Shannon in the hallway this fall. And there鈥檚 a rumor going around school among freshman boys that 鈥渋f you date Shannon, you鈥檙e gay.鈥�

When boys don鈥檛 talk to her, she wonders if she鈥檚 not pretty enough or if her personality is wrong or if it鈥檚 because she is trans. Shannon flirted with a boy who commented to her friends at a football game that he thought she was attractive. They hugged and he asked her to walk to the concession stand. Then she told him she was transgender and he wanted nothing to do with her.

鈥淚t鈥檚 one of the hardest things I鈥檝e had to deal with in high school,鈥� she said.

As a freshman, Shannon has already decided she doesn鈥檛 need dates or relationships to make her whole.

鈥淚鈥漨 a girl,鈥� she said. 鈥淏ut I identify as a trans girl. I don鈥檛 want to hide that.鈥�